Colitis Endometriosis Laparoscopy. Three words I really wasn’t looking forward to writing about.

In fact, I have written, then erased, written and erased again much of this post. To tell it like it is is hard, especially because it’s fairly personal.

In the end, I choose to write for me, but also because I have been able to connect with so many women around the world on these issues.

It is my hope, always, that I continue to provide hope and encouragement for anyone who stumbles upon my story.

August 8, 2011

On August 8, 2011, in this space I call my blog, I wrote a post titled, “Off the Running Circuit.” I stated,

For personal reasons I am physically unable to run. The pain typically hits me about 1-2 miles in. I have tried to push right on through it. I have spent many-a-runs in pain thinking, “Am I going to throw up? How much longer before this run is over?

At that point, it had already been going on for a year. It has now been over two years since I wrote that post.

Three years, many moments of pain and yesterday I finally took action with a surgery that I thought would give me answers.

During intense workouts, for 3 years, I get horrid, awful cramps and back cramps followed by a little bleeding and cold sweats/goose bumps (due to the pain).

If you push really hard, chances are a blood vessel in your eye could pop. Chances are also that you don’t have pain with it….the vessel simply pops. You go about your day, with just a funky looking red eye.

That is, essentially what happens to me, but with the cramping and “female” issues.

The bleeding wasn’t the huge concern to my doctor (because she correlated it to the eye vessel popping, i.e. strain of intense workouts). It was the cramping and pain that accompanied it.

Exploring

Due to the “unexplained” infertility, we decided that exploratory laparoscopic surgery was a viable step.

What is a laparoscopy? It is a surgery that uses a thin, lighted tube put through a cut (incision) in the belly to look at the abdominal organs or female pelvic organs. Doctors use it to determine many different things. For me, they were checking to see if I had endometriosis, which is known to be a huge cause of infertility in women.

It’s been almost 24 hours since the surgery.

I am still torn with how I feel about the results.

Colitis, Endometriosis, Laparoscopy I share a similar story. Thanks for sharing yours. Adoption. Infertility. Colitis. sarahkayhoffman.com

Colitis Endometriosis Laparoscopy

Based on blood tests (done Monday), we know that my eggs are not great.

It is not endometriosis, and furthermore, the blue dye test (where they wash the tubes with blue dye to see if they are “open” or not) showed that my tubes are open – clean and clear.

You are probably thinking, “great news.”

I’m on the fence.

So what’s wrong?

Am I glad it’s not endometriosis? Of course.

But because it’s not endo and because of the pain, my doctor thinks it’s coming from the Colitis.

So hard for me to swallow, literally. My stomach has been functioning better than ever this past week (I’m almost 2 months into my 101 days). Some days I  forget that I have Colitis, to be honest with you.

But now? Every time I feel those horrid, awful pains I will have a nice little reminder that as much as I hate Colitis, it sure does love me.

She suggested possibly another Colonoscopy. Maybe, eventually.

And what now?

I’d be lying if I said I was a big bubble of happiness today.

I’m not.

And that’s okay.

As it relates to the Colitis

I’ll continue healing my gut. I’m extending beyond the 101 days for sure. I have never felt better in my life and due to the surgery, the drugs and meds will set me back just a little.

As it relates to the pain with workouts

My workouts are going to be turned upside down. They will not look the same. More on this to come.

As it relates to my “eggs”

If you have children and beautiful eggs and you can produce on a dime, please thank your lucky stars today. You are blessed in ways you might never know. I had no clue this could ever be an issue for me.

My doctor is just as confused. My heart breaks a little (or a lot) over it, I have shed more tears than you can imagine, but God is so good.

God has other plans for us.

It’s Friday of Labor Day Weekend. I won’t be doing much since my belly is tender from surgery, I have pain in my chest and shoulders, my throat hurts and going to the bathroom is an odd chore.

I’m spending the weekend cooking, baking, reading, writing and relaxing.

I have a lot on my mind, and so much on the horizon.

The end is in sight.

My life is about to be flipped upside down.

I told you that God has another plan for us.

Colitis Endometriosis Laparoscopy sarahkayhoffman.com
Photo Credit: Camdiluv ♥ via Compfight cc

When I’m better and stronger next week, I’m finally going to tell you.

In so many ways, my heart hurts.

But in so many more ways, I am happier and I have more wild hope than ever before.

Xox,
SKH

You will heal. I will help.

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39 Comments

  3. Reading through this post, and the accompanying ones about your struggle, my heart is breaking for you because you’ve had so much misinformation thrown at you and you’re still looking for answers. You’re going to find them, I know it because of how great of an advocate you are for yourself. I also know it because of YOUR faith that you’ll get it figured out. Get plenty of rest this weekend and do whatever you need to do for you. Sending you lots of love, hugs, and positive thoughts.

  4. There always seems to be bad with the good….you are very strong and I know good will triumph for you! Judy

  5. Brave, beautiful you. A treasure to many. Treasure yourself. Thinking of you and am grateful that you choose to share. It’s a gift.
    xo

  8. Sarah,
    This post made me weep. I have so been there for the frustration, anger, fear, and worry that comes with these issued. I know for all you have been through there is going to be something amazing that comes along. Hold on to that wild hope!

    1. Thank you, Clare. And thank you for featuring “a loving spoon” on your blog. Totally appreciate it, and more importantly – YOU!

  11. Sarah, I am so sorry that you are feeling so confused and discouraged by this outcome but I am wildly hopeful for you as well though. One autoimmune disease is plenty for anyone anyway and I’m so excited for what God has in store for you, especially now that he has shown you even more about what’s going on in your “gut.” Lots of love to you! Rest up!

  12. Oh goodness, what a journey. I know how painful infertility can be… even though I was eventually able to conceive, I had my share of tears… thank you so much for sharing. I’m thinking of you, and LOVE the line about wild hope. xoxo

  13. You are amazing. I feel so connected on so many levels with the colitis and infertility- you are wonderful for sharing your journey, as it helps so many women, and I am sure it is cathartic for you to write as well.
    Keep up the hope girl- lots of love to you. Xxo

  14. How I feel your pain with the infertility. But knowing that there are bigger plans for me gives me some peace and that is what I wish for you.
    I will be sending you lots of positive thoughts through this time. *hugs*

  15. I’m so happy for you that the results of the surgery were positive, but I do understand the frustration of not having an answer. I hope you’re able to get an answer soon and I hope you have a wonderful, relaxing Labor Day weekend! xo

  16. Thank u for sharing ur experience . It is def. A challenge. I had to get my tubes tied because of my colitis. I cried for days knowing I can’t have anymore. I should have done more research before hand but didn’t. But I do know that God has a plan for both of us. U r very strong and has taught me a lot and I think that u have found ur calling. Ur message can touch more ppl then u think. And that is a beautiful thing. U r so pretty and just know that u have ppl who love u dearly. Ur in my prayers sister. Get some rest so u can recover faster 🙂

  17. I am not going to lie that reading this definitely made me sad, to know how much you are hurting! But you are strong, beautiful inside and out, and have so much ahead of you to conquer. I’m here for you whenever you need it and don’t be afraid to use me. XOXO

  18. I have become a frequent commenter on your blog now! I don’t want to repeat everything everyone else commented although I agree with everything that has been said to you! I just really want to say I wish you the best on your journey. I’m a little mad at life because I think sometimes how it is isn’t fair for good people like you to deal with complicated problems but sometimes I realize, well maybe this is why these people are so amazing. How they push through and blossom and become even more unbreakable than before. You are strong!
    Also in regards to the yoga for recovery post, I too suffer from a hip injury, it’s a combination of the tendon and flexor, though more tendon. Pigeon is so good! PT told me to hold off on Yoga but to me it helps so much so I did NOT listen.
    Also I did too get a laparascopy to remove a 9 cm ovarian cyst almost 2 years ago. I guess this is just me saying I can relate to your surgery. It is nice that is quick and you can continue with life pretty quickly. But rest up, and take it easy! Can I send you hommade walnut cashew butter? Hah, doesn’t come close to your creations but it’s also me saying I share the nut butter love (which btw I plan on ordering some more soon ;P )

  20. friend, please let me know if i can do anything. I am praying. For healing, for comfort, for Gods plan to be evident. Gosh i am also stunned by the way He works, but you are so right, God is good. We must trust that. Rest up. xxoo

  21. While reading this…each time my heart began to break for you, your positivity and hope would shine through and fill ME with positivity and hope, too….I’ll continue to keep you in my prayers…I can’t wait to hear what the news is…get plenty of rest!

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