I hope wherever you are reading this today, that you are able to think of a father (biological or not) who exemplifies the term strong, in the same way my own father does.
Yesterday morning, one of my BF’s texted me, wondering if I could send her a picture of my cousin’s dog. My cousin is super remote currently, so I couldn’t really text and ask. Naturally, I took to the book of faces, and perused her images. By pure chance, this was one of the first pictures I stumbled upon – one she had taken of my dad and I back in 2009-ish.
I stared at it for several minutes, just wishing we could go back to that night.
I downloaded the picture to my computer because I’m not sure I’ve ever had a copy of it. Looking at it reminds me that a picture is totally worth a thousand words. I smile like my dad; I have my dad’s nose.
My mind rushed through all the better days; both he and I were so healthy then, at least seemingly so.
When I’d come home for a visit from California, there was always a night when we’d go out….drinks, food, and a late night ensued.
But ever since I came home at Thanksgiving, things have been so different. It’s been a 180 degree flip. I don’t like it. I don’t pretend to like it.
But this Father’s Day is about living. It’s not about feeling sad or mad or anything else. It’s about knowing that, while life has so drastically changed, all of dad’s numbers have leveled off. And through all of it, I am reminded about strong men – a strong Father – and how much that can change a girl’s life.
No one understands where I get this Type A drive, and though he and I are vastly different, I do believe it must be from my Father. He is so strong that even throughout all of this, he has been working the best he can as a work horse in the yard.
He’s not sitting around, moping, daydreaming. He is out doing and living. And that strength is something I desire my entire life.
I’ve already written about Pain is Not Weakness Leaving the Body, but strong is going through the Cancer ringer, dropping to 138 pounds with hardly a gleam for bouncing back, and then….bouncing back.
I have been very aware these past several months when I feel like who I am is attacked in a subtle way, but I do find myself quickly remembering what my dad would say and how my dad would act. Strong. My dad would not and does not give a s#$% who thinks what and when about him.
Around Mother’s Day one Friday afternoon, he asked if I wanted to go to his shed to grab wood for photography boards. I had been wanting some custom, unique ones for awhile, so off we went to shop for them. He wasted no time, working on them the rest of the afternoon, finishing all 3.
I now have 3 custom boards that no one else has, which fit my own, personal style – compliments of a father who would do anything – ANYTHING – for me.
Thankful doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel that God gave me him as my dad and that we get to celebrate Father’s Day today.
One of the first boards I ever created on Pinterest was, “My Dad. My Hero.”
To this day, I’m still adding pins that remind me of my dad. This was the latest.
Life would never be the same without my dad.
And by the way, you must be thinking right now that it’s awfully rude I forgot about Ryan, the father of my own children. I didn’t. Because of my dad I never settled for anyone until Ryan. When I said that having a strong Father can change a girl’s life, in many ways I was thinking about Ryan through that statement. I wanted a husband who would have the staying power, love, ethic, honesty, and humbleness like that of my dad. And I got it. So this one is for you, Ryan…..nothing slow or sad, just goofy mixed with all the chaos that currently is your life as a dad.
I love you BOTH more than you’ll ever know.
Happy Father’s Day!
You will heal. I will help.