Beginnings are scary. They are really scary

This past week was up-and-down. It felt incredibly exciting and amazing one minute and then like a total heartbreaking s#$% show the next (chemo “started” on Thursday, but then didn’t start).

Samarah had her first day at her new preschool in Minnesota on Wednesday.

Beginnings are Scary Samarah first day of Montessori Minnesota preschool

How is this for awesome? Her classroom is the exact same classroom I was in for the first grade. 

Samarah wasn’t scared for her first day at all, not even a little bit. I told her, “You’re going to have a new Marsha and new friends like Colbie, B, Colton, Henry, Grace, and Hazel.” (Her preschool teacher and friends in California.)

When I picked her up the first day, I asked her, “How was the day, baby? Did you like your new teacher? Did you meet new friends?” 

She said she liked school, and the teachers, but then she said, “But mama, there wasn’t a Colbie or Colton there.” I told her, “No, no Sam, there won’t be the same Colbie and Colton, but other sweet kids just like them who will become your friends, too.”

She thought about it for awhile, and confirmed, “All the kids were nice.”

Beginnings are Scary

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Beginnings are Scary

I know how Samarah feels. Nothing is the same, and yet everything is okay and (for me) so many things are the same as ever.

It’s hard to understand what I mean by that, but this town (population roughly 9,000), this “new” place and home for us isn’t, in fact, new at all.

I was born and raised here, and a large portion of my family still resides here. I went to Catholic elementary school here, and then middle school, junior high, and high school. I played ice hockey here and drove around for hundreds of hours in run-down cars and minivans with my friends here. I even knew Ryan my whole life here in this little town, and then later in life Ryan and I were married here – at that Catholic church. 

There is nothing new about this place and yet I, too, feel like Samarah – it’s not the same as the life I’ve known for the past 11 years in California.

Samarah will adjust quickly. 

I think I will, too.

And yet beginnings are scary – currently, in 1,001 ways. 

Tomorrow begins my 101 day series on change and I’m diving in headfirst with my 2017 mantra to embrace change.

I’m not promising that every single day is going to be a 300+-word blog post. In fact, some days (depending on the day and life), the post might only be a few words. I believe this is all a part of embracing change, though, and showing you through my own life that sometimes (eh – most of the time) good enough is enough.

If you don’t have time to read these posts daily, but don’t want to miss them, be sure to follow via Bloglovin’ and/or join my personal e-newsletter HERE. I am doing my best to send a once per week email recap of prior week’s posts.

These posts will all live under “Wellness+Lifestyle” and also tagged with “101 Days of Blogging.” The 101-day series runs from Monday, January 8, 2018, through Wednesday, April 18, 2018.

See you tomorrow. 

Until then, we all do our best to smile big and bright like our little Samarah.

p.s. If you’re also a blogger and would like to do your own 101-day series challenge, I’d encourage you to try. In 2015, I laid out the pros and cons of blogging for 101 days straight. You can read the post HERE. Spoiler alert: there were many more pros than cons. Let me know if you decide to run your own – link up with this post so I can see it and follow your posts as well.

Beginnings are Scary Samarah first day of Montessori Minnesota preschool home


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  1. Yes, beginnings are scary. As I begin 2018 I’m trying to embrace acceptance but had a little slip up emotionally after meeting my son’s bio-mom. I must accept what I cannnot change… I’m had a great heart to heart with my hubby tonight and feel better. I know as this year goes on my ground will quake a little but I have great support (I must remind myself). I’m still sending my prayer out to your family and remain hopeful for a blessed year for you all! I’m not a blogger but it is so therapeutic to speak to you through your blogs so I completely understand the appeal and look forward to more updates (large or small) from you!

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