Almost immediately after I told you that we are expecting, the questions started pouring in. I expected that, and I enjoy answering them.

Morning tea anyone?! Or coffee? Isn’t this coffee mug the best? My co-worker Megan and I bought them while in Manhattan Beach last week. She said we must have them, and she was so right! She’s just plain amazing.

Boy or Girl? Coffee Traditional Medicinals I Love California Tea

{This post is part of my 101 Days of Blogging series, inspired by Experience Life magazine’s 101 Revolutionary Ways to Be Healthy, authored by Pilar Gerasimo.}

Day 23: Eat Fresh

Trade dead, packaged goods for foods that are fresh, alive and full of high-vibe goodness. Figure out where to find them, learn to juice/slice/dice them, and eat them with great pleasure. Revolutionary Act #23, powered by Experience Life

So we might as well start with boy or girl + other criteria we have for baby #2.

When you foster-to-adopt, you don’t actually know what you are going to get until that call comes. That said, when the agency/state comes to do the in-depth home study, you are able to communicate every last thing about needs and wants. The last thing the state wants to do is place a child in a home that has no potential of being a good match. The ultimate goal is always “in the best interest of the child.”

Boy or Girl? Adoption.

During our home study prior to Samarah we had just two criteria:

  1. 0-2 years old
  2. No major disabilities (our house was not equipped for that)

We left it wide open because our main objective was to get a child, love a child, adopt a child and be everything for that child.

Things haven’t changed a ton this time, but there are some things that have changed. No longer is this about Ryan and I, but now it’s about what is best for Samarah. She is our daughter, our only child and our main priority.

That said, here is the criteria for this next adoption:

  1. No major disabilities (our new house is still not equipped for that)
  2. Boy or girl, it doesn’t matter
  3. 0-2 1/2 years old (in other words, we don’t want children older than Samarah)
  4. Siblings? Yes, we’ll take them, but age rules above apply.
  5. Non-Caucasian

You read the above, and you likely had two thoughts.

The first was,

Oh my gosh, if they get siblings, then they will have 3 children under the age of three.

Your math is correct. If you think that sounds insane, it is. The likehood of this happening is not very high, and we are going into it with the attitude that if that is God’s will, then we will welcome it with open arms. We have learned that siblings in the foster care system are hard to place. We have the space – physically in our house, emotionally in our hearts.

The second was,

Non-Caucasian? But why?

Race has never mattered to Ryan nor I nor anyone on either side of our families (and this is yet another reason our families are the very best!). We are very fortunate because this is, sadly, not the case for everyone. But it’s important when bringing a child into your home that you understand the implications for the support of or disapproval of from friends, family, etc. Again, race never mattered to us.

It still doesn’t, but now we have our daughter who is not 100% Caucasian to think about. We have chosen for us, but mostly for her that we would never want her to feel like an “outsider,” the only non-Caucasian in the family. And so, for this next adoption, we have specified that the child(ren) must not be 100% Caucasian.

Currently, I am just praying that wherever and whoever our child(ren) are, that God is protecting them until they are able to come home with us. I find myself asking daily, “Is it time yet?!”

p.s. If you have any questions you’d ever like me to address on my blog, you can always click HERE to send them to me!

Boy or Girl? Adoption Samarah and SKH


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  1. You can totally do 3 under 3!! We did…and then added another 1.5 years later. God is good and will give you the grace, patience, love, confidence, and most importantly guidance to do the job. ???? Can’t wait for you to experience the sibling craziness and fun!

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