I never thought I would “re-launch” my blog this way, but somehow it seemed perfectly fitting….the end of this road.

Emotions Everywhere

I just ended probably the hardest 1.5 months of my life with a vicious IVF cycle that did not end with a growing belly. My heart is crushed, shattered in a million tiny pieces. And yes, the answer is that it can still be broken even if I am on this journey from anxiety to trust.

After Giuliana Rancic was diagnosed with breast cancer, she was interviewed. During the interview, she was asked something to the effect of, “Has Bill (her husband) been supportive throughout all of this?”

Part of her answer cut deep to my core. She replied with something similar to,

Yes, he lets me cry. He doesn’t say – hey, just think, it could be worse, someone else out there is worse off than you. He just lets me cry.

I know that things could be worse and that I have a great life, with an amazing husband, family, and friends. I realize that I have a job most people would pay to have. Most of all, I know that there is a reason for all of this, that I am strong, and that I will never give up on anything worth fighting for.

But I also know in my heart, that it’s the end of this road – on many levels, for many reasons.

When Ryan just lets me cry, I find solitude in those moments.

Today, though, I am just embracing the end of this road.

The End of This Road

the End of this road The Road Home is Never Paved sarahkayhoffman.com Foster Adoption Adopt

By embracing the end, we are also able to welcome a new beginning.

That beginning is today. I am (so) ready to (finally) embrace “A Gutsy Girl.”

You will notice the shiny new logo on my site today.

Just as he did it before, he has done it again. Rafal Tomal is the designer behind the logo. The logo design also has a story, so please remind me to tell you sometime:) My new website layout is the Balance Theme (oh-so-fitting for me), which can be found via StudioPress.com. I always have Brian Gardner on my side, and for that, I will forever be thankful to him and the awesomeness that is the Copyblogger team.

A Gutsy Girl

I spent months and months thinking about my site – the good, the bad and mostly why it was I needed to change it. In the days to come, you will learn so much more about this process and everything that will encompass the site moving forward (but the gluten-free recipes will not be leaving:) ).

In the end, I fell in love with, A Gutsy Girl.

It was born out of the digestive/gut concept. But then my brother said something to me that struck me in a whole new way. He said,

I think it encompasses a lot about you, even going beyond just the digestive side of it.

He reminded me in such a simple, yet (so) needed way that I am A Gutsy Girl – not in a risky behavior, thrill-seeking kind of way (because that’s definitely not me). But I am gutsy because I will tell my truths, whatever those truths are and in whatever stage of life I’m at.

I have finally found my place in this “space” of blogs and social and crazy mass-media, information-overloaded area.

Instead of trying to be everything to everyone, I realized that I would rather be something to just a very few. And if only a very few read these words, enjoy these recipes and have a place where they could relate, it’s all worth it.

The Beginning of A Gutsy Girl

I can’t tell you how many times during the IVF process when I wished I had a website to go to where someone related. Or how many other times I wished when I had no idea what was going on with my bloated stomach that there was someone out there writing and talking to me at that moment.

With that, it struck me that I have held back talking about the issues that impact my life – and thousands of women’s lives – the most.  I’m now less concerned about who thinks what about the words I write, things I say and issues I will talk about.

I have now gone through and am currently going through two issues that women around the world face daily – digestive disorder and infertility.

No matter what you look like, where you come from, or anything else that might make us different, neither digestive disorder/disease nor infertility will discriminate.

This I know for sure.

The End of This Road www.sarahkayhoffman.com

Launching this site today was the most important thing (other than a great workout finally!) that I could quite possibly do for my mind.

Finding out yesterday that 2012 would not show us Baby Hoffman was the end of one road.

Knowing what I’ve been through since January has proven to me just how strong I really am.

Realizing that the end to one road always leads to the beginning of another reminded me that by the grace of God, in due time….A Gutsy Girl always finds her way.

Tomorrow and beyond, it is my hope that you enjoy this new direction (although tomorrow isn’t anything too Gutsy – just a delicious gluten-free snack idea).

For today, I’m remembering and giving into the fact that crying is okay….and caffeine is not my enemy anymore:)

Xox,
SKH

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29 Comments

  1. I personally love the concept of “re-invention” and I know you and I have been through many stages (of all different kinds) of change. It is truly healthy and important to be ever-evolving. It helps keep you on your toes, and as you know, keep your mind off other things. Keep it gutsy, girl.

    1. I believe in always re-inventing ourselves. Hell, if Madonna didn’t we might all be in a lot of trouble:) Thank you, Bob. Keep me posted on the growl!:)

  2. I very open post. Thank you for the share and sending positive vibes through the interwebs. Love the new logo, and I’m a designer that is like 2x the amount of normal love you would get. Keep doing your thing.

  3. Great new site! Love the logo too. I’m totally guilty of always telling people, “Hey, it could be worse.” Your words have enlightened me. Sometimes people just need a good cry, they need to feel as if their own world is imploding without judgment from me. Thanks for the perspective.

    1. Thanks, Jennifer! And hey…if makes you feel better, I used to be guilty of it, too. Until it broke my heart to hear it from others:)

  4. I love your guts Sarah! And yes, you ARE on gutsy girl. I swear, I d!o not know how you get it all done. You are truly superwoman to me. And this new blog design is fantastic. Love it

  5. I can’t really think of anything clever, deep, or really insightful to say — you’ve said everything that you needed to and it really was beautifully and honestly written. Just “listening” to this post is enough for now.

    That said, I do want to say “Congrats!” on the new design, way to do it with “gut-so”! (See what I did there?)

  6. I love you & love the new Gutsy Girl! Everyone needs to cry so go ahead & let it all out! Please know that you will continue to be in our prayers! Much love to you Miss Sarah!

  7. I’m a new follower, but so glad I found you! Love what you wrote, not only about re-invention, but about how you’re a gutsy girl, in more ways than one. My heart goes out to you for what you’ve gone through & I hope you can work things out there, and find your new path. 🙂
    I agree, we should never be afraid to cry, it cleanses the soul.
    Looking forward to becoming properly acquainted through your words.
    Thanks, hugs, Gill xx

    1. Hi Gina! I am so happy to have “met” you today. Thank you for the great words and thoughts…can’t wait to follow you more!

  8. I have been following your blog for awhile now, and just read this post. My heart breaks for you. I too suffer from infertility…the dreaded “unexplained” infertility. It kills me when my doctor tells me “I don’t get it, on paper you should be able to get pregnant”. My husband and I have been TTC for over 8 years. I wish I could say “it gets easier”, but I can’t. Maybe its that you get stronger, but even that seems like a lie some days. Just know (obviously) you are not alone and I hope for you, that some day you do experience “a growing belly”.

    1. Hi Lydia! Thank you so much for this…it really meant a lot. It seems like it’s been forever since I wrote that. Life sure does fly by. My heart breaks for you long journey. At the same time, I always find solitude in the fact that my life is just as it should be right now. I pray that in time all good things come…for all of us:)

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