I need to tell you that it’s okay to unbutton those pants.
This post was updated after recording a podcast on Living and Letting Go in October of 2018. On the podcast, I talked about this concept of unbuttoning those pants. Do you have IBS and/or IBD? That podcast episode + this post is for you.
On my worst days (back in college and then early on when I moved to California right out of college), waking up was never the problem.
I could (usually) easily put on suit slacks, jeans or yoga pants.
By lunch, the demons began pushing against my lower belly, making even subtle movements difficult.
I might sweat or have anxiety. I could possibly be crying internally or even externally. In fact, oftentimes at lunch, I’d find myself in bathroom stalls, doubled over in pain while crying and even sometimes just sitting there asking, “Why me?!”
But I never unbuttoned my pants.
I had too much pride.
To unbutton them would mean that I’d have to admit something was wrong and I’d need to get help and then take it into my own hands to get better.
Unbutton Those Pants
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Once everything would finally move through me and I could breathe again, only then would I unbutton.
I would tell myself
I’m unbuttoning now, just because. I’m not doing it because of pain, bloat, or misery.
It was as if I punished myself for things that, at the time, I really had no control over since I had no idea what was wrong or how to help myself.
In those moments I’d find relief, at last. When I found relief, I never sought help because I’d always tell myself, “This time it’s going to be different. This time the pain and bloat will never return.”
Only it did return, every single time, nearly every single day.
Looking back, I wish I wouldn’t have been so stubborn.
I wish I had just unbuttoned those pants.
More than that, I wish I had simply started being nicer to myself; letting go of things I couldn’t control, then working to change the things I could.
So here’s what I’m giving you permission to do today….go ahead.
Unbutton those pants.
But in the process, make the changes that will warrant never having to unbutton them again.
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You will heal. I will help.