Heal your gut. Heal your life.
I made a 40 before 40 list today for my 35th birthday.
When I turned 32, I created a list of 105 things I wanted to do in 1,095 days. Yesterday I shared the review of those 105 things.
I didn’t complete 105 things in 3 years, but I would love to see the completion of 40 things in the next 5 years.
…
The Sunday Reflections post today is a short, sweet, and simple one. Smiles….the theme.
Why? Because the truth is that I hardly felt like writing this morning. I didn’t go to bed until about 3 am (yes, second night in a row – who am I), and I’m still on a high from the weekend. 
Friday night we saw Pink at the Armory, and last night we saw JLo. Her concert was crazy awesome, but the highlight for me? I was in the box right next to Mark Cuban (look right behind me).
The place was so loud, and he left shortly before the end, but I was dying to tell him that when he invested in Delighted By Dessert Hummus on Shark Tank that night, those were my images on set. 🙂
And ironically, a friend sent me an image of her with a jar of A Loving Spoon nut butter from 3 years ago last night, too.
I thought about how, back then, I wanted to be on Shark Tank and it was Mark Cuban I wanted to partner with.
Anyways, on the whole, the weekend was surreal. I feel beyond grateful for the wildly unreal experiences. (You can see it all still on my Instagram Stories.)
A reader sent me this short message awhile back,
Morning! Love reading all your posts! You’ve accomplished so much Sarah and I think you’re an incredible person and mom! Prayers for your dad
love seeing the smiles on your kid’s faces!
There are no Earth-shattering words included there, but I’m sharing it because of her last 8 words, “love seeing the smiles on your kid’s faces!”
We have all been smiling a lot (well, except maybe not Maya so much – ever – ha).
Everything has been bringing the smiles on. Family, friends, events…..life. 
Minnesota is full of smiles, even on hard days, because we have everything in the world here.
Xox,
SKH
If you don’t have time to read these posts daily, but don’t want to miss them, be sure to follow via Bloglovin’ and/or join my personal e-newsletter HERE. I am doing my best to send a once per week email recap of prior week’s posts.
These posts will all live under “Wellness+Lifestyle” and also tagged with “101 Days of Blogging.” The 101-day series runs from Monday, January 8, 2018, through Wednesday, April 18, 2018.
If there is a topic surrounding change that you would love for me to include in this series, please just CONTACT ME.
Last night was incredible! Let me tell you why, and then you’ll understand how this relates to forgot about Rae (not Dre 🙂 )
Even with the flu, Pink put on this insanely awesome concert last night at the Armory in Minneapolis. 
I am a country girl to the core, but there are several artists outside the genre (like several, several!) that I love and can be found listening to at any given moment. You would be very surprised to know that I totally dig Godsmack and Ludacris, but you likely wouldn’t be surprised to know how much I love Pink. In other words, I’m totally this girl.
When I found out Pink was going to be performing at the Super Bowl, I wanted to go so badly.
And then my BFF sent me a text, “Pink and JLo. We are going.” Pink on Friday night, and JLo on Saturday night. 
My response, “I don’t know if I can hang like that.”
Her three words, “Oh shut up.”
Guys – I’m in bed like an old woman between 8-9 pm nightly. Remember?!
But there we were last night, at the Pink concert, and she didn’t go on stage until 11 pm.
And guess what?
Incredible! 
She put on, hands down, one of the best shows I’ve ever been to. Her dancers are extraordinary – every single song was full of energy and excitement.
I had tears in my eyes when she sang, “Who Knew.”
Different circumstances, but it was sinking in,
If someone said three years from now
You’d be long gone
I’d stand up and punch them out
‘Cause they’re all wrong
I know better
‘Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew
And for her encore, she came back on stage to perform “So What,” while flying through the air, hooked up to cable bungee cords.
I mean, it was a concert and experience (we sat up in VIP – a whole other story) I’ll never forget. 
And so I (and we) totally forgot about Rae.
Confused yet?
Ryan is coming up for Super Bowl stuff today, and BaNgoai is watching the babies tonight. Two nights ago, Ryan was all, “Oh shoot. What are we going to do with Reagan?”
You do remember who Reagan is, yes? She’s our Great Dane.
And this made it the second weekend in a row that I forgot about Rae, totally unintentionally.
Last weekend when Ryan wasn’t here, I quickly set her up to go to the kennel so she’d be well taken care of while the kids and I were digging being back with the tribe.
This weekend, we decided that Ryan will just keep Reagan with him for the night. He’s such a rockstar husband!
Anyways, we keep forgetting about Rae because we never had to worry about this while we lived in California. Everything we did in California, all night and weekend getaways were planned far in advance, which also meant that Reagan’s plans were set far in advance.
But now that we are back in Minnesota, we are constantly on the go, doing things, seeing people. And many of them are on a whim, last-minute plans.
As I stared into the massive crowd last night, surrounded by people I love hanging out with, all I could think was, THANK YOU, GOD! Thank you for finally allowing my life to include this “problem” of forgetting about Rae.
I am finally seeing how much happier life is when a LIFE exists beyond work and workouts and homebody-ing (that’s not a word, okay?). 
This part of the change, like the Pink experience last night, just incredible. No other words.
Xox,
SKH
If you don’t have time to read these posts daily, but don’t want to miss them, be sure to follow via Bloglovin’ and/or join my personal e-newsletter HERE. I am doing my best to send a once per week email recap of prior week’s posts.
These posts will all live under “Wellness+Lifestyle” and also tagged with “101 Days of Blogging.” The 101-day series runs from Monday, January 8, 2018, through Wednesday, April 18, 2018.
If there is a topic surrounding change that you would love for me to include in this series, please just CONTACT ME.
It was only three days before I boarded that plane back to Minnesota this past December when Patsy’s, ‘Let There Be Light,’ popped up on my Facebook feed.
By then, Patsy Clairmont was already my spirit animal, but that day solidified it.
On Tuesday my dad started the IV (and main) portion of his chemo treatments. After being hospitalized even prior to starting treatment they decided to ease into the chemo treatment plan. The first round he was only at 60% full dosage of the pill portion. He did that for three weeks, and this past Tuesday, he started 100% dosage of the IV chemo portion while maintaining at 60% of the pill.
Next cycle (in three weeks), he will be at 100% on all.
The first three weeks with only 60% pill, he was, for the most part, taking it very well. His weight wasn’t falling more, he was out driving his truck a couple times, and he was able to enjoy time with his brother (who came from Texas) and sister + her husband (who came from California).
I mean, they even went to Diamond Joe’s one day. (Those of you not from around here, it’s a Casino on the Minnesota/Iowa border.) 
On the whole, up until this point, we can’t complain a ton about the treatment and how dad has been doing.
100% dose of IV? Now, this is going to be another story. I feel like I’m on pins and needles each morning when I text my mom, “How is dad? How was his night?” (Note: I’ve had to text because while I was sick there was no way I was going out to see him.)
If you’ve ever watched someone go through Cancer (or have yourself), you know that at some point it gets hard – really hard.
We are likely entering that stage now.
And here’s the thing – this stage was my worst fear when I got the news about my dad back in November. I have never wanted to see my dad in any light other than the one I’ve always seen him in – strong, hard-working, and active. I certainly never wanted to see it so soon.
December 17, 2017, this video from Patsy popped up in my feed (I learned yesterday when I pulled it from YouTube that it is not, in fact, new though.) It’s over 8 minutes long, and you might not want to watch it, but let me tell you – Patsy is a little spitfire with class and soul, and storytelling capabilities I could only wish to have. The video has over 2.8 million views and it has been shared on Facebook over 7,800 times.
If you have the time, watch it. You won’t regret it.
So I sat there that night, right on my Facebook feed and listened. Honestly, I had no idea that the video was about Cancer. The caption is, “Because it’s a favorite of many of you…” I only watched it because I was needing some light in my life – about the move, my dad, all of it.
{Spoiler alert: Patsy is a God-fearing, Bible-loving woman. This video and message is faith-based. If that’s not your jam, you might not care about this message at all. It is my jam, so that’s why I had to share it.}
The video is all about Patsy’s friend, Carol, who was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. The Cancer then spread to many other areas within in her body, and during that time, Patsy wanted to find the words to say to her friend Carol. She wanted the right words but had no clue what those were.
She then found herself at Genesis 1:3 in the Bible,
And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.
Patsy wasn’t sure of those words (because they are so basic), but she called her friend, Carol, on the phone to tell them to her, anyway.
After they hung up the phone, Carol just started saying, “Let there be light,” over-and-over again.
What happened next was incredible! Those 4 words became clear as day (you’ll hear it in the video).
As Patsy closes, she says,
There’s so much we don’t know. Carol knew she was not healed, but God gave her exactly what she needed at the moment she needed it.
Of all the many things Patsy said during the video, it was those two sentences I held on to.
Back in November and in December, and then January, and now in February, there is so much we still don’t know about my dad’s Cancer, what the implications will be, and how he is going to respond to the IV Chemo treatments.
This uncertainty has been emotionally draining for our entire family because nothing is worse than knowing the best could happen but also that the worst might lie ahead.
When I think of change, in my own life, and in our family’s life, I do something that I know is helping during these days.
It’s called BELIEVE.
Like Patsy says and like Carol did, I believe that God will give my dad (and all of us) exactly what we need at the moment we need it. I believe that there is purpose and power in massive change. I believe that God will not turn his back on my dad or any of us for one moment (even when there is physical and emotional pain).
When a room is pitch black, even with the tiniest amount of light, that light will shine through, overcoming any and all darkness. And in that, in this, in all of it…..I too believe in the power of, let there be light.
p.s. I’m feeling about 100% so I’m going to see my dad this morning!
p.s.s. If you or anyone you love has gone through Cancer and there are powerful Bible verses you’ve come back to, could you please share them in the comments below? Or email me them by clicking HERE. Thank you kindly.
Xox,
SKH
If you don’t have time to read these posts daily, but don’t want to miss them, be sure to follow via Bloglovin’ and/or join my personal e-newsletter HERE. I am doing my best to send a once per week email recap of prior week’s posts.
These posts will all live under “Wellness+Lifestyle” and also tagged with “101 Days of Blogging.” The 101-day series runs from Monday, January 8, 2018, through Wednesday, April 18, 2018.
If there is a topic surrounding change that you would love for me to include in this series, please just CONTACT ME.
Today is the official first day of my 101-day series on change. The kickoff was yesterday, “Beginnings are Scary.” And I promise you that even though this post around the change pain point feels somewhat doom and gloom, that’s not my intention for the series – at all – not even a little bit. But towards the end of 2017 when I knew I wanted to do this series, it all stemmed from the place where these deep changes began taking place.
My intentions are to share how this major change transpired, and that sort of starts from the beginning – last May.
In May, I knew we were moving from California back to Minnesota.
The night before I left California for good, I had dinner with most of my favorite girls in California. Almost immediately upon arriving, I grabbed a drink at the bar (of course – one last Tito’s Vodka + water + a splash of something at my fave place in downtown Tracy), and my friend Stephanie then asked, “Okay, so tell us, what are you most excited for about moving home to Minnesota?”
I sat there for a few seconds to think about it.
So many things flashed through my mind….all the things I was excited about, and the things I was sad to leave behind. But overwhelmingly, one thing surfaced.
I said, “I am most excited for family.” And then, my voice cracked and I began to cry. LORD. Go figure – it was all beginning. My intentions were not to cry that night, but I couldn’t help it.
I continued on, “Honestly, what I am most excited for has now become my pain point.”
Click HERE to save this post for later. 
Since that day in May when I knew moving back to Minnesota would soon be a reality, the one main thing I kept talking about and coming back to was watching my children play out at my mom and dad’s house. Finally having the opportunity to see my mom overjoyed with their voices and my dad ecstatic to show them his beloved yard – the wide-open space, and his passions.
I pictured it over-and-over again. All the time I felt I had “lost” with my mom and dad would now be recuperated and restored.
Even just a few short days before my dad’s diagnosis I had asked if my mom and dad could look at a rental house for us so my dad could be sure he’d be able to be our “handy-man-fixer-upper.”
Family, both Ryan’s family, and my family were the number one reason for wanting to move back.
I never wanted to raise my children where the love of my mom, dad, and JJ were not.
But that which I was most excited for has now become my pain point.
My dad has seen all three babies since we have been home. He’s tickled Samarah, and laughed at Maya’s attitude. Last week he spent a couple hours watching as Isaiah opened Christmas gifts and played with his “Bing, Bong, Boo” Peppa Pig bus (on repeat for an hour).
But….it’s not the same.
It’s winter and the kids have all been fighting with a strange, little illness (the flu for less than 24 hours and mild colds). And what that means is that I don’t dare bring them out to my parent’s house because my dad cannot get sick. Not then, and especially not today (chemo is starting – for sure).
By now, the kid’s would have seen and played with my dad a ton. He would have gotten out their singing Elmos, and fed them junk food galore. He, my mom, and I probably would have done something basic like the local Legion for a drink or five on New Year’s Eve. Christmas morning would have meant a lot more energy, and several glasses of the traditional frozen Margaritas he, JJ, and my mom have. 
I waited 11 years to come home to Minnesota. If you were to ask Ryan or anyone in California who asked me, “Why are you most excited to move back?” They would have all told you the same thing for why I was most excited.
Family. Always family.
Now, and as I’m working through and on embracing change, I’m feeling this excitement through a very deep pain point.
And that’s what I am realizing about change that I had never quite noticed before. Not all change is created equally. Some changes are welcomed with open arms, they are exciting and feel freeing. And some changes mean that the change is simultaneous with a pain point. It’s not welcomed.
Whether it’s welcomed or provides pain, the only thing consistent in life is change.
And we must absolutely learn to breathe through it, stay positive with it, and embrace it.
p.s. I have decided to link up all previous posts at the end of each post so you can follow along in order if you’d like. You will find them below.
Xox,
SKH
If you don’t have time to read these posts daily, but don’t want to miss them, be sure to follow via Bloglovin’ and/or join my personal e-newsletter HERE. I am doing my best to send a once per week email recap of prior week’s posts.
These posts will all live under “Wellness+Lifestyle” and also tagged with “101 Days of Blogging.” The 101-day series runs from Monday, January 8, 2018, through Wednesday, April 18, 2018.
If there is a topic surrounding change that you would love for me to include in this series, please just CONTACT ME.
love seeing the smiles on your kid’s faces!
