Change with the Change

Filed Under: 101 Days of Blogging, Inspire, Love, Wellness Tagged With: 101 days of blogging, change, life

What happens when you don’t change with the change?

I’ve been traveling to New York a lot lately for work. The airport I fly to barely ever has a direct flight from Minneapolis. So I have been booking connecting flights. You always have an option with connections. How close do you want to cut it? My mind works as such -> Make the connecting flight be as close to the first flight because then I’ll get to the final destination quicker. The only problem with this is that it doesn’t allow room for error, delays or the like. It has bit me in the butt so many times (like almost every single trip to and from New York) that for this current trip I refused to accept anything but a longer layover and/or direct flight.

I got to the airport three hours before my flight yesterday. I buzzed right on through everything – baggage drop and security both in about 10 minutes. I grabbed the most fantastic salmon salad, and then I sat down to eat it. My mom told me to just enjoy the time and “meditate” – ha, whatever that means for my life currently.

I didn’t meditate, but I started thinking about this past week and the little hiatus I took from my 101-days of blogging series. And it hit me – all at once.

This would be one of the most important blog posts I’d write and share with you on this whole idea of change.

Change with the Change

I am currently in the thick of finding out the hard way what happens when you don’t change with the change.

My goal was to embrace change with the move and my dad mostly.

Since the day we moved back, I have succeeded 100%, and for the longest time now I thought that was okay – that it was enough, and that I was really being an example for “how to embrace change.”

I now know that there is a difference, a huge difference, in embracing change and changing with the change.

I have loved Minnesota so hard since we got back. I have loved every single last thing about life here. I have loved seeing my dad (even though nothing is the same), and I have loved being with my mom and brother through it all.

My mistake was thinking that I could simply embrace change and still do, have, and be all the other things I had in California and before my dad got sick.

In California….

I ran and ran and ran, signing up for all the trail races I could because of those mountains.
I set this goal for 101-days of blogging through the change.
I ate a specific way because I could, there was access to anything and everything.
There was so much space for the kids to run and play.
Reagan had her own room in the house.

I mean, I could literally go on and on an on……

Didn’t Change

So when I got back to Minnesota, there was this mammoth change happening – physical location and with my dad.

But I didn’t care. I was embracing change and I thought that I could embrace it and still do all the things.

Like running. I wanted to sign up for 15-20 mile trail races, and so I kept training for that – a lot of cardio and running.

And like blogging. I vowed to myself (and to you) that I would do this for 101 days straight.

With our rental, I figured the kids would be fine without an outlet.

I mean, all of it. I just kept on keeping on, and I forgot to change with the change.

Dark Cloud

Last week my mom referred to the current as feeling like a dark cloud, and that’s spot on.

The only thing I’ve needed to do to truly embrace this change is to be here, in Minnesota, in the now, with the current situation.

What I didn’t need were all the things and the life I lived in California, and I certainly didn’t need any extra to do tasks or goals added to my list.

The stress of the change caught up because I didn’t change with it.

Like those connecting flights, I never allowed for error – there was no room to breathe.

It manifested for me in both physical and emotional ways with the culmination last week, but I’d be lying to you if I didn’t tell you how grateful I am that it finally happened because now I’m finally ready to change with the change.

A Change

No more 101-days of blogging. I’ll still be here, blogging constantly and consistently, but the daily pressure has got to go.

No more long running. I talked about it on Instagram HERE. In fact, I’m not even going to do a trail race in Minnesota in the foreseeable future. That was a love I had in California, and even though I might still love it here, right now is not the time to explore it.

The kids need an outlet – a new one, and I have to help them find it daily.

Reagan only has one spot in the whole house to be, and I need to accept it.

Boundaries. I need to set them…..with every last piece to my personal and professional life.

My SIBO is trying real hard to relapse, and if I don’t reign all of this (and more) in quickly and actually change with the change, all the hard work I’ve done this past year+ is going to wash away.

Why do I think this is one of the most important blog posts I’d write on change?

Because I learned the difference between embracing change and changing with the change, and I’m hoping that if you’re currently going through crazy change (or when you do – because you will) that you remember the change itself is massive and you being in the whirlwind with it is ENOUGH.

We must change with the change and know that it is just a season of life. Someday, sometime, all the things can return. And maybe they won’t. That’s okay, too.

But right here, right now, on day 72 where I fall short of hitting 101-days of consecutive blogging, this is all enough.

Xox,
SKH

If you don’t have time to read these posts daily, but don’t want to miss them, be sure to follow via Bloglovin’ and/or join my personal e-newsletter HERE. I am doing my best to send a once per week email recap of prior week’s posts.

These posts will all live under “Wellness+Lifestyle” and also tagged with “101 Days of Blogging.” The 101-day series runs from Monday, January 8, 2018, through Wednesday, April 18, 2018.

If there is a topic surrounding change that you would love for me to include in this series, please just CONTACT ME.

Previous 101-Day Change Series Posts

Sarah Kay Hoffman

You will heal. I will help.

childlike-sports.flywheelsites.com

Flower Girls and Ring Bearer

Filed Under: 101 Days of Blogging, Inspire, Love, Raising Baby, Wellness Tagged With: 101 days of blogging, change, raising baby

Shortly before we moved back to Minnesota, I started putting feelers out to find the kids a new childcare provider (nanny, okay, the term is a nanny, but people get all up in arms about it so whatever you want to call it – call it).

I started privately reaching out to people from back home, and I got a few recommendations. I wasn’t completely sold on anyone.

By the end of October, I started getting a little nervous. What if we couldn’t find anyone? Where would the kids go all day, and would not finding someone fantastic mean that the transition was harder for them?

And then in early November, I randomly mentioned it to someone from back home. She told me about someone she knew who was moving back from Arizona to our hometown and was looking for a job upon arrival. Her name was Katie.

I had my contact give Katie my information, and she reached out almost immediately. We went back-and-forth for about a day, and I hired her immediately (actually when we were in Lake Tahoe in November). I didn’t know Katie but knew of her. Everyone I asked about her, raved about how wonderful she was.

But change is hard for small children, too, and because the kids were so used to Sukjhait and Kuljit, I didn’t know how they would do amidst major change and another new person in their lives.

During Katie’s first week (I think it might have been just her second day), Isaiah got the flu and threw up everywhere. Katie got it right after, and everyone sort of got it.

After the flu came other illnesses and while it didn’t mean the kids were completely down and out, they weren’t in the best spirits. There was a week when Maya screamed bloody murder all day, every day.

But Katie handled everything perfectly.

I can’t remember the last time Samarah asked about Sukjhait and Kuljit.

The kids took to Katie immediately, and I knew Ryan and I had made the right choice.

Flower Girls and Ring Bearer

When Katie arrived yesterday, she brought 3 little boxes, one for each child. She said she had gifts, and they couldn’t wait to open them! When they did they all found ring pops inside…..along with little notes that said, “Will you be my flower girl?” and “Will you be my ring bearer?”

Katie is getting married in December, and I was shocked when she brought their gifts to “pop the question.”

She and I tried explaining it to them, but they had no clue. They had ring pops (which they had never seen before) and were thrilled at the thought of a sucker on their fingers.

As full-time working parents, Ryan and I only want the best for Samarah, Isaiah, and Amiya when we’re not here. If I didn’t have it, my choice to work full-time would be clouded and/or I’m not sure I’d do it at all.

It was such a struggle to find anyone good for the kids when we were in California. We interviewed and emailed with so many people, and it was like pulling teeth.

But this change? This one has been one of the easiest and favorite changes we made!

Oh, the littles are going to make the most adorable little flower girls and handsome big ring bearer….if we can keep them focused on getting down the aisle without Amiya screaming, “No,” Isaiah doing the long jump, and Samarah mothering the two back in line. 🙂

Xox,
SKH

If there is a topic surrounding change that you would love for me to include in this series, please just CONTACT ME.

Previous 101-Day Change Series Posts

Sarah Kay Hoffman

You will heal. I will help.

childlike-sports.flywheelsites.com

Firsts

Filed Under: 101 Days of Blogging, Inspire, Love, Wellness Tagged With: 101 days of blogging, change, life, love

Yesterday was a day of firsts for both Ryan and me.

It was a day filled with changes, but not entirely starting over.

Firsts

For 11 years, Ryan has worked from home. He was constantly on the go, out and about, meeting with clients in Northern California, Nevada, and then eventually Utah, too.

Yesterday, at 8 am, he went to an actual office where all the other inside team resides and stayed there until 5 pm.

For the last several years, I, too, worked at home – in our house. I made every piece of my business work from various places in our home.

And yesterday, I too, went to an office outside the home.

It was a day of firsts because needing to pack up and be out by 8 am with various return times is completely new to us.

When we both worked from our house, it was easy to workout in our gym, make breakfast, get the kids up, and once it was time to work, just walk a few feet to start. At 4 pm when I was done with work, I’d make dinner so that when Ryan was done around 5:30 pm, he could just head downstairs to join us for dinner.

Yesterday, Ryan was out of the house by 7:30 am, and he didn’t get back until almost 6 pm. Once Katie arrived around 7:45 am, I too was gone all day until just before she left.

I still fed the kids early, but because I want to always eat dinner with Ryan, put our dinner in the oven a little later so it was warm when he got home.

Firsts are Just Different

There was nothing wrong with yesterday, it was just different.

Everything about the day was new for all of us, and yet it had nothing to do with starting over.

It will take some time for Ryan to get used to the new environment, for me to (really) appreciate mine, and for us both to get used to the new schedule.

But little-by-little as “firsts” fall into their place, it will become our new norm.

And so far, all the things that have fallen into place to become a new norm have been perfect….because I’ve let the firsts see their way to seconds, thirds, fourths…..

Xox,
SKH

If there is a topic surrounding change that you would love for me to include in this series, please just CONTACT ME.

Previous 101-Day Change Series Posts

Sarah Kay Hoffman

You will heal. I will help.

childlike-sports.flywheelsites.com

Unplanned

Filed Under: 101 Days of Blogging, Inspire, Love, Wellness Tagged With: 101 days of blogging, change, life, love

I sent a text to my brother yesterday about a totally unplanned night that happened back in September.

I never talked much about that trip home to Minnesota because I was afraid I might spill the beans that we were moving home for good. I decided to book my flight and spend a few days here so that when we returned sometime in the winter for good (remember, we weren’t supposed to be back for good until February/March 2018), I would still have that fresh, fall air reminder in my mind.

All the things I wanted out of that trip (and more) happened….including this unplanned night.

Here was the text I sent to JJ yesterday,

I was thinking last night about the last night I saw dad “normal.” That night in September when I was home. Put Maya to bed, and the 4 of us sat outside by the truck and talked until sundown.

He replied,

Was one of my favorite things. Crazy to think that was less than 6 months ago.

I wish I would have taken more pictures of that night. Here are two I have, completely unedited so that I always have them in one place to remember the night.

It was a near-perfect night outside with just a slight breeze. We all wore light clothes, and I probably had flip-flops on.

I don’t even have a picture of my dad from that night, but he wore (as per the usual) his work pants, work boots, and an old, worn T-shirt.

We all had a drink. I only had one, JJ and mom probably a few, and I distinctly remember dad not having more than one or two (which was not like him at all). I never thought anything of it at the time.

We talked about all the things – nothing too important, just here and there family and life happenings.

It went until sundown, we all went inside, and soon after the day was over.

Unplanned

A week ago from Tuesday was dad’s last chemo treatment.

The first couple days after were fine, but then illness and fatigue caught up with him.

It got bad yesterday, so last night, we took him in.

My mom had to be at church, so I happily offered to stay with him. (p.s. I timed my drive home from our local hospital. Exactly 3 minutes. It’s true. And awesome.)

For about three hours, we sat in a small emergency room while they ran tests, took scans, and filled him with proper hydration, drop-by-drop.

One of the best things my dad always does when I come in the hospital rooms is introduce me – like he is so proud. It’s always the same,

This is my daughter, Sarah. She will ask a lot more questions than I will.

And I always do ask a million questions because I want to know everything, and I want to make sure that when we are making decisions we are doing them with the most information possible. Also, because I’m nosey and many times I know things they have no clue about. ????

My dad is not a talker, if you know him, you know that. I let silence fill the room, and I became okay with it. That said, when he spoke, I listened. That’s always the way my life has been with my dad – rarely a peep uttered, but when it’s uttered, the world stops turning so I can listen.

Mom returned about 8:30 pm, just in time for him to be discharged. We are praying it was just the severe dehydration again. (A never ending battle.)

Shortly before she got there he said, “I really appreciate you sitting here with me all night. I know you’ve got s#$% to do.”

No, Dad, no. There is nowhere in the world I could have been that was more important.

In less than 6 months we have watched massive change with my dad occur, but during the change, I am trying my best to hold tight to these unplanned days, nights, and moments.

p.s. People have asked if we will set up a Caring Bridge for my dad. The answer is, “No.” And those who truly know my dad would completely understand why. The “why” is also the reason why I haven’t shared the type of Cancer, stage, or any of the fine details. My dad is a very private and humble man. I don’t blog his details, but instead the details of how I’m processing it because, again, this is my blog and not his. If you are local and know my dad, you can always feel free to privately reach out to us and/or stop by to say “hello” to him when he is well. He enjoys the words I pass along from people who send them to me. He loves when my niece (she’s not really my niece, but I’ll always refer to her + Emma as that) Sophie prays for him and goes all the way to the Bishop level to ensure someone hears her pleas. Prayers are appreciated, and so are your thoughts.

Xox,
SKH

If there is a topic surrounding change that you would love for me to include in this series, please just CONTACT ME.

Previous 101-Day Change Series Posts

Sarah Kay Hoffman

You will heal. I will help.

childlike-sports.flywheelsites.com

Do We Really Change?

Filed Under: 101 Days of Blogging, Inspire, Love, Wellness Tagged With: 101 days of blogging, change, life, love

Our life circumstances might change, but do we really change?

In November when I was home visiting, I found this little paper I wrote in 1998 (I was a Freshmen in high school then) titled, “My Life.” The paper made me laugh, and I took it from my parent’s house to show Ryan and just to keep for myself.

The paper was broken down like this: The Early Years, Family Ties, Fun Times, High School Life, and Ambitions.

In The Early Years, I stated, “One of the things that probably was the most important in my childhood was the fact that I was so rambunctious. My mom said that I was always on the move, and I loved to talk.”

In Family Ties, I reviewed the 5 most important people/pet in my life at the time; my mom, dad, JJ (my brother), Shera (our Doberman), and Kim – the BFF.

In Fun Times, I discussed singing, hockey, writing, and friends, naming one of these three as my best friend.

In High School Life, I stated, “I realize that my days spent singing Old McDonald and not having a care in the world are over.”

And finally, in Ambitions, the very first line I wrote was, “I set pretty high goals for myself, and try to think that I’ll achieve them if I believe in myself enough, and want it bad enough.” The paper ends as such,

Finally, I want to get married and have a couple of kids. I want to move out of Minnesota, and go somewhere warm, where this is no winter. Hopefully, I will obtain all that I desire in life, and make others, and myself as happy as possible.

Do We Really Change?

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I’ve read the paper in detail many times, mostly just for fun, but I always come back to, “How much have I actually changed? Do we really change? Can we truly change?”

Caterpillars become butterflies, but zebras never lose their stripes and when snakes shed their skin, the body is still the same.

I think we are like all of them -> the butterfly, zebra, and snake.

A caterpillar was really always a butterfly, concrete stripes simply can never disappear, and shedding layers is just that – layers – not true body form.

Since moving away from Minnesota to California, I do believe I have changed. My perspective on multiple things changed because my experiences and environment were different for 11 years. Like the snake, each time “life” happened while living out West, another layer was shed.

Infertility? Changed.

Illness? Changed.

Access to every last drop of “health” food possible? Changed.

Winning that Nike Human Race Ambassador “gig.” Changed.

Mountains in all directions? Changed.

Adopting one baby? Changed. (Then two and three like bam-bam, totally changed.)

But Do We Really Change?

I got home to Minnesota in late December, and by January 1st I felt like I had never left (and also immediately started reverting back to that Minnesoooooota accent – help me!)

I have found myself these past two+ months wondering if I had really changed or if the change was just temporary, given physical location.

The more I read those words I wrote on May 14, 1998 (almost 20 years ago), the more I realize that who we are as people – the core of our beings – does not change.

Factors and outside circumstances can change us for better or worse, but that’s only like the snake shedding a layer.

Deep down, I am still the same person who is rambunctious, loves my family, singing, hockey, writing, and friends, and is extremely ambitious.

I foreshadowed for myself that I’d leave Minnesota, get married, and have children. It just didn’t look exactly the way I wrote it back then.

It took a long time for me to conclude my answer to the question, “Do we really change?” If you ask 10 people the question, you’ll probably get 10 different answers that lead to a “Yes” or “No.”

For me, the answer is still sort of grey, but it looks like this:

Without the caterpillar, we can’t become a butterfly, but there is a reason a zebra never loses its stripes, and thank God for layers shedding daily.

Xox,
SKH

If there is a topic surrounding change that you would love for me to include in this series, please just CONTACT ME.

Previous 101-Day Change Series Posts

Sarah Kay Hoffman

You will heal. I will help.

childlike-sports.flywheelsites.com

Seven

Filed Under: 101 Days of Blogging, Inspire, Love, Wellness Tagged With: 101 days of blogging, change, life, love, minnesota

We’ve been friends since we were seven.

That’s what my friend told our waiter last night when we went to dinner at Book Club.

Two months after getting back to the homeskillet, and I was finally able to have dinner in Minneapolis with my three best friends from home.

In a few short hours, there were more laughs with girlfriends than I have probably seen in years. I think I had tears in my eyes at one point from excessive laughing.

Yes, the good stuff life is made of.

Seven

We started the first grade together, at the same school Sam now goes to.

We went through Elementary, an then Middle, and finally High school together.

We weren’t always three-peas-in-a-pod type friends throughout school, and I shared different connections with all of them, but we all remained friends during those growing up years.

After high school, we all went our separate ways. I went to California, another to Chicago, others stayed here. There were weddings, babies, divorces, the highest of the high moments, and lowest of the lows.

Between then and now, I picked up two other friends so similar to them – both of which are in Chicago, and between the five of them, I’m totally set on the best friends train.

Life Happens as You Turn the Pages.

I snapped a picture of the menu last night at Book Club. Underneath the Poached Pear (Vegan and Gluten Free, btw) were the words,

Life happens as you turn the pages.

We didn’t discuss it, but I thought about those words on my drive back post dinner.

It’s been almost 30 years of friendship, and so much has happened during these years. We started on one page, and years later, find ourselves far into our own stories.

Life has happened, massive changes have taken place.

But now that we are on this page, at this stage of our lives (all back in Minnesota!), I can’t help but be so freaking excited to keep turning those pages with the friends who have been friends forever.

To think it all started at just seven. Friends really are a girl’s best friend. (<— yes, click that link. You’ll love it.)

p.s. If you’re in Minneapolis, go to Book Club. So good.

p.s.s. If the three of you are reading this, the answer is, “Zero. Zero times per week.” 🙂 The other answer is, “Monthly. Girl’s night monthly.”

Xox,
SKH

If there is a topic surrounding change that you would love for me to include in this series, please just CONTACT ME.

Previous 101-Day Change Series Posts

Sarah Kay Hoffman

You will heal. I will help.

childlike-sports.flywheelsites.com

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change

Change with the Change

Didn’t Change

Dark Cloud

A Change

Previous 101-Day Change Series Posts

Flower Girls and Ring Bearer

Previous 101-Day Change Series Posts

Firsts

Firsts are Just Different

Previous 101-Day Change Series Posts

Unplanned

Previous 101-Day Change Series Posts

Do We Really Change?

But Do We Really Change?

Previous 101-Day Change Series Posts

Seven

Life Happens as You Turn the Pages.

Previous 101-Day Change Series Posts

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