I’m getting my dad a chocolate shake for his birthday today.
[Read more…] about Chocolate Shake
Filed Under: 101 Days of Blogging, Inspire, Love, Wellness Tagged With: 101 days of blogging, change, life, love, minnesota
Filed Under: 101 Days of Blogging, Inspire, Love, Wellness Tagged With: 101 days of blogging, life, love, minnesota
Today is the official first day of my 101-day series on change. The kickoff was yesterday, “Beginnings are Scary.” And I promise you that even though this post around the change pain point feels somewhat doom and gloom, that’s not my intention for the series – at all – not even a little bit. But towards the end of 2017 when I knew I wanted to do this series, it all stemmed from the place where these deep changes began taking place.
My intentions are to share how this major change transpired, and that sort of starts from the beginning – last May.
In May, I knew we were moving from California back to Minnesota.
The night before I left California for good, I had dinner with most of my favorite girls in California. Almost immediately upon arriving, I grabbed a drink at the bar (of course – one last Tito’s Vodka + water + a splash of something at my fave place in downtown Tracy), and my friend Stephanie then asked, “Okay, so tell us, what are you most excited for about moving home to Minnesota?”
I sat there for a few seconds to think about it.
So many things flashed through my mind….all the things I was excited about, and the things I was sad to leave behind. But overwhelmingly, one thing surfaced.
I said, “I am most excited for family.” And then, my voice cracked and I began to cry. LORD. Go figure – it was all beginning. My intentions were not to cry that night, but I couldn’t help it.
I continued on, “Honestly, what I am most excited for has now become my pain point.”
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Since that day in May when I knew moving back to Minnesota would soon be a reality, the one main thing I kept talking about and coming back to was watching my children play out at my mom and dad’s house. Finally having the opportunity to see my mom overjoyed with their voices and my dad ecstatic to show them his beloved yard – the wide-open space, and his passions.
I pictured it over-and-over again. All the time I felt I had “lost” with my mom and dad would now be recuperated and restored.
Even just a few short days before my dad’s diagnosis I had asked if my mom and dad could look at a rental house for us so my dad could be sure he’d be able to be our “handy-man-fixer-upper.”
Family, both Ryan’s family, and my family were the number one reason for wanting to move back.
I never wanted to raise my children where the love of my mom, dad, and JJ were not.
But that which I was most excited for has now become my pain point.
My dad has seen all three babies since we have been home. He’s tickled Samarah, and laughed at Maya’s attitude. Last week he spent a couple hours watching as Isaiah opened Christmas gifts and played with his “Bing, Bong, Boo” Peppa Pig bus (on repeat for an hour).
But….it’s not the same.
It’s winter and the kids have all been fighting with a strange, little illness (the flu for less than 24 hours and mild colds). And what that means is that I don’t dare bring them out to my parent’s house because my dad cannot get sick. Not then, and especially not today (chemo is starting – for sure).
By now, the kid’s would have seen and played with my dad a ton. He would have gotten out their singing Elmos, and fed them junk food galore. He, my mom, and I probably would have done something basic like the local Legion for a drink or five on New Year’s Eve. Christmas morning would have meant a lot more energy, and several glasses of the traditional frozen Margaritas he, JJ, and my mom have.
I waited 11 years to come home to Minnesota. If you were to ask Ryan or anyone in California who asked me, “Why are you most excited to move back?” They would have all told you the same thing for why I was most excited.
Family. Always family.
Now, and as I’m working through and on embracing change, I’m feeling this excitement through a very deep pain point.
And that’s what I am realizing about change that I had never quite noticed before. Not all change is created equally. Some changes are welcomed with open arms, they are exciting and feel freeing. And some changes mean that the change is simultaneous with a pain point. It’s not welcomed.
Whether it’s welcomed or provides pain, the only thing consistent in life is change.
And we must absolutely learn to breathe through it, stay positive with it, and embrace it.
p.s. I have decided to link up all previous posts at the end of each post so you can follow along in order if you’d like. You will find them below.
Xox,
SKH
If you don’t have time to read these posts daily, but don’t want to miss them, be sure to follow via Bloglovin’ and/or join my personal e-newsletter HERE. I am doing my best to send a once per week email recap of prior week’s posts.
These posts will all live under “Wellness+Lifestyle” and also tagged with “101 Days of Blogging.” The 101-day series runs from Monday, January 8, 2018, through Wednesday, April 18, 2018.
If there is a topic surrounding change that you would love for me to include in this series, please just CONTACT ME.
Filed Under: General, Inspire, Love, Wellness Tagged With: gravel roads, Healthy Lifestyle, life, love, minnesota
I am from Country Roads, a poem I published in 2011 via What I’ll Never Know For Sure April 2011.
The context was vastly different than the context today.
Back then, I wondered why I don’t write poetry anymore. I still sometimes wonder this, but much less frequently because my passion grew with other forms of writing.
Today the only thing I wonder is how did I ever produce these thoughts about country roads some 13-ish years ago without ever knowing where my life would go, and how is it that life comes back full circle?
Today the girls and I are going to Minnesota.
These are the only words I’m leaving with.
I am from country roads,
pigtails and overalls and rugged old sweatshirts,
giggles heard for miles,
dogs prance around quicker than the Indy 500.
I am from country roads,
sugary tang of mom’s tepid cookies plague the atmosphere,
dad’s timber blazes in the basement,
a full-size backyard where I see the sunrise and sun fall.
I am from country roads,
whacking mosquitoes while eating on the patio,
performing rain-dances to the moon,
toilet-papering, cow-tipping, four-wheeling.
I am from country roads,
sound of keys clanking to ignite engines,
earsplitting roars overtake the midnight sky,
gravel seeps into my tires; no concrete pavement.
I am from country roads,
stop sign on a dead-end road,
America’s pride blowing ten feet above ground,
whispering winds converse among trees regarding country roads.
Xox,
SKH
Filed Under: Inspire, Love Tagged With: inspire, love, minnesota
Today we are returning back home (er, kind of “home”) in California. By the time I hit “publish” on this post, I will be ready to hit the skies and leave what is actually home, Minnesota. During these past two weeks, I have had so many moments where I’ve just hit the pause button and been able to reflect. These are my top 15 things I learned while in Minnesota.
There is no place like home.
Really, there is no place like the homeskillet Minnesota.
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Xox,
SKH
Filed Under: Inspire, Love Tagged With: inspire, life, love, minnesota
I have butterflies in my stomach.
Ryan and I met with a lawyer for A Loving Spoon nut butters while we were back home in February.
Their offices are about an hour away from our hometown, so we detoured and dropped Samarah off at my cousin’s house in a town called Shakopee, went to the meeting, had lunch at Whole Foods, headed back to get Sam and then made the reverse trek home.
On the way back to our hometown, I sat in the back with Sam. She slept, and I toggled between staring at her and looking out the window.
The fields were covered with snow, trees frosty white and roads calm as can be. We passed through a couple of towns that I have had my eyes on for when the day comes that we get to move home.
Typically, we would cross over those towns and I would not think twice about them nor would I feel anything (except maybe disgust towards the cold, bitter, never-ending winter).
But that day? That day I had butterflies in my stomach. I was giddy. I wanted to move back stat.
There was a time when California, big California-lovin’ dreams and fast lanes were the places butterflies grew in my stomach. I loved those days, and I still sometimes feel those butterflies when I gaze at the Palm Trees, adore the mountains and let the sun warm me.
And so, that day, driving on the backroads in southern Minnesota with nothing but my heart, thoughts and the freezing cold on my mind, it struck me like never before that I could feel those very same butterflies in my stomach.
There is something so beautiful in peace and quite. It’s something I cannot explain to those who have never travelled these solitary roads and those who have made hustle ‘n bustle a normal.
There is something about back home (good ‘ole Minnesota), back roads and the “Friday night fish fry” at the local American Legion that has me craving a little less, a little more often.
A new season has taken over in my life.
This I know for sure.
Xox,
SKH
Filed Under: Inspire, Love Tagged With: inspire, life, love, minnesota
There are 2 simple words you should remember daily: Just relax.
I sat belly up at The American Legion one night while in Minnesota with my uncle and Godfather, Jack. Jack loves to have a good time. He loves music, a good brew, and fishing. He is kind and like my father (his brother), one hell of a good-hearted man.
Jack doesn’t go a day without reminding someone to, “just relax.” It was catchy. Likely just what I needed to be reminded of, over and over again that night.
Jack will be so proud to know that I did just that, nearly the entire 2 weeks while in Minnesota.
I relaxed. I enjoyed. And that’s what my weekly release is all about this week (and by the way, I didn’t do these while in Minnesota because I didn’t have my beloved photo programs – and I’m kind of particular about images on here now).
Ryan was in Minnesota, but only for a quick minute.
I also made a new recipe, which will come to my blog in the coming weeks. I did it for my ma….she loves me so much!
Here is a sneak peek. A Miso soup.
Finally, many of my other favorite moments were not captured in pictures. My mom and dad don’t do many pictures. My mother and father-in-law don’t really either. Neither does my brother JJ, or any of my uncles and cousins for that matter. Being home in the homeskillet, Minnesota was truly relaxing and special. It always is.
I love California for so many reasons. But man….oh man….oh man….I DO miss my family. If you live across the country from your own, tight-knit family, you’ll know what I’m talking about. If not, count your blessings.
Thank you, Minnesota.
Thank you, Jack.
I loved remembering to simply just relax.
Xox,
SKH
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