Today you’re holding up one full hand, all five fingers, to denote your new age. Happy Birthday, Samarah {This is Five}.

The birthday posts I write for you, Isaiah, and Maya are probably some of my most favorites because I get to reflect on a little life that became something more than I ever dreamed of. This was one, and this was two. This was three, and this was four. 

How am I here today writing to you, celebrating five already?

All the things in the world to say to you, Josephine.

Happy Birthday, Samarah {This is Five}

Earlier this week I wrote about our NICU babies, you being one of them, of course. I have your footprint from birth, but that’s it. It wasn’t until you were about 2 months (to the day) that I would meet you for the first time. On that day, I fell madly in love.

Last week at school, your teacher told Daddy that, obviously it’s not possible, but you look like me. Lately, we get told that more and more; you like me, Isaiah like Daddy.

You are all rainbows and unicorns. You love everything about them, and I think it’s fitting because your personality embodies what we perceive about both. 

Your whole birthday party was unicorns, and you even picked out the new bedding for your new room to reflect that rainbow unicorn personality.

“I want a bedtime snack,” might be your favorite five words. You are snack, snack, snack-eroo, and you never miss an opportunity for snacks. Your favorite foods currently (in addition to snacks and junk!) are Protein shakes with Daddy, sunflower seeds, SeaSnax, cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, and anything you can dunk Ketchup into.

You love your babies (both real and not real), the Smurfs, art, swimming, dancing, singing, Princess Tiana, princess stories, reading, running, spending time with friends (Arabella is your current best friend), and playing for endless hours outside.

If ever there is a chance to help, you’re on it; sweeping, cooking, baking, getting your own milk and milk for the babies, etc. 

You adore your cousins; Sophie, Emma, Lilly, Maddie, Carlie, Abby, and even all the boys. 

Some of your other favorite people in the world are: both Grandmas and Grandpas, Auntie Lan, Auntie Kimmie, Aunt Kelly and Uncle Mark, and Uncle John and JJ.

Since birth, you have been the worst sleeper ever, keeping us up all hours of the night. You are still terrible at bedtime and sleeping, getting up no less than 3-4 times per night (and always about 5-6 even before falling asleep).

You are a little Mother Hen, which is a phrase I used to describe you last year for your fourth birthday, too. And even though you love Isaiah and Amiya to no end, you’ve also started telling them in moments of anger and frustration that “mommy and daddy got me first.”

You are pure girl, wanting to wear a dress every single day. This could not be further from my dressing attire, so while I don’t understand it, I adore it. Unless an outfit is really not appropriate, I let you be exactly who you want to be. I hope you will dress in dresses and dance with sparkles forever. 

People are constantly telling us how pretty you are; how your eyes are unreal. We hear that we should get you a portfolio and submit for little “modeling” gigs. Your Daddy and I are not interested. We know you are beautiful, but at five, you’ve got things to do…..like get dirty in the mud, play in the snow, fight with your siblings, go fishing with Uncle JJ, and so much more.

When we first got you, I was fixated on something that had to do with your hairline. I couldn’t put my finger on it then, and I can’t even put my finger on it now. What I can do is tell you that I would stare at your face and that hairline all day long; so precious and innocent. 

I looked at and brushed that hairline on Saturday night just before I read you a bedtime story and you fell asleep on my chest 5 pages in. I felt so lucky and thankful; so much at peace.

Oh Samarah, you are my little angel. There is something about your every last move that I can literally feel was born deep in my soul. 

I look at you and sometimes it physically hurts how much I love you and how I owe every last ounce of my being to God for giving you to us. 

On Monday, I was telling someone about the first year of your life and how challenging it was because you were up about every 2 hours. Later that day, I thought about how sick I got because of everything I was doing to try to keep up with A Loving Spoon, a “regular” job, and (mostly) you. 

But you know what, my little angel? If I could go back to those days, there is only one thing I would change. I would have stopped anything and everything that didn’t have to do with you. Still, with your schedule, I would have wound up sick. And yet, I would do it again in a heartbeat, even if it meant I would get even sicker or that you might ultimately not have been able to stay with us your whole life.

Because getting you and loving you has been everything.

You are both a miracle and dream come true.

Today on your fifth birthday, I wish the world (and lots of cupcakes!) for you. 

Now for real, won’t you stay five forever?!

Xox,
Mama