This time, while we wait, it feels so very different, yet also very much so the same.
Expecting
If this is your first time here, you might not know that we are expecting, and you might not also know that this past July we finalized the adoption for our first child, Samarah Josephina Hoffman.
It was about 2 months from the time our home study was finished to the day we got our call for Samarah. I was on pins and needles almost the entire time.
{ Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Traditional Medicinals, but all opinions are my own. If you’ve followed my blog for any length of time, you know how much I love their teas, and how often I talk about them.}
I have no stress over the unknown, but instead of the known, which is that the second our call comes, life will once again completely change.
Our hearts then go back on the line, like clothes out to dry.
While we wait for s/he/them to arrive, it seems like the laundry list of things I’m thinking of and going over in my head continue to grow.
7 Daily Thoughts That Go Through My Mind While We Wait
-
Visits.
Will we have birth parent/family visits? If so, how often? Who will be there? What will they be like? Will I be okay with this?
-
The room.
We have finally moved Samarah’s crib into the new room. It is fully set up for an overnight arrival, but by set up, of course I just mean there is a changing table, crib, and closet. Because I don’t know if we will be getting a girl or boy, I haven’t decorated at all. Secret? I’m dying to do a little boy’s room in elephants.
-
How will Samarah acclimate?
On the final home study questionnaire, they asked us how Samarah plays with other children and if she is ready for sibling(s). I, of course, said absolutely because she is a little mother hen. She loves her babies, and she plays well with other children. That said, I wonder how she will react and feel when there is another child permanently with us? I think all parents wonder about this around the arrival of the second child.
-
When will s/he/they arrive?
I am no longer on pins and needles waiting for our call. I am the mother who feels so incredibly blessed by the one child I have that this sense of contentment is enough. But because I know another is on its way, I can’t help but think, “when?”
-
“Adrenal Fatigue.”
Having a new baby, or a toddler who is placed in a new environment equals many sleepless nights. While I am feeling phenomenal (from an energy standpoint), I can’t help but worry about that decline.
-
Keeping well.
In general, a major change like this makes it extremely challenging when you have an autoimmune condition. I never said impossible, and I certainly never said not worth it, but to pretend that the two fit together perfectly would be a lie.
-
The long road to Gotcha Day
It’s a very, very long road. You know how sometimes you procrastinate even beginning a project because you know that once you start the end is still so very distant? Adopting from the foster care system has many parallels to that.
I imagine that before you give birth to a child you have your own laundry list of questions and stressors while you wait. I am not sure what your main ones are, but for me, I will say it’s absolutely all 7 mentioned above.
While we wait for s/he/them to arrive, though, I must do absolutely everything in my power to ensure the stress levels keep at bay. And I won’t lie, I have been doing an awesome job.
8 Things I Do to Keep Stress at Bay While We Wait
-
Many of these 28 Ways to Reduce Stress
Look, I practice what I preach. Scout’s honor.
-
Enjoy friends and family.
My cousin, Godmother, and several other family members came to visit, then Ryan’s parent’s came, and finally the day after they left my mom came for a week. It was beautiful, and it really helped me enjoy some of the people I love most in this world. We have been doing Mommy ‘n me gymnastics, other play dates, and Bethany and I have kept our 3-day a week Tabata workout sessions.
-
Eat foods and drink beverages to trigger the calm.
According to Mercola, there are 10 Superfoods for Stress Relief. I have been eating these on the regular. Green leafy vegetables, wild salmon, blueberries and dark chocolate top the list. In addition, I have been drinking Traditional Medicinals Stress Ease Cinnamon, which helps to relieve stress and irritability and promotes relaxation*. It contains organic skullcap, one of the most powerful herbs to relieve stress, as well as organic cinnamon bark and organic licorice root. It has a subtle cinnamon flavor that I enjoy all on its own.
-
Sleep
I do this all the time. I had a super hard workout last week that left me drained. A couple hours after the workout, Samarah went down for a nap and instead of pushing through, I only worked on one simple project and then took a 2-hour nap until she woke up. I made no justifications for why I did this. I needed it, and I know that very soon I won’t always have that luxury. Besides, sleep and gut healing go hand-in-hand:)
-
Detox
High stress will usually lead to illness. I’m going to quickly knock on wood and then tell you that our household has escaped all winter illness thus far. It’s because I do several things for myself, Ryan and Samarah to ensure it the best I can. It’s called constant detox, but without ever having to do a traditional detox. I eat meat, and I’m far from dogmatic when it comes to insane diets these days. Instead, I “detox” by adding things in vs. taking this out. In doing so, I am helping our bodies naturally and appropriately without draining our systems, thus leaving less room for illness to enter. Here’s how:
-
Adding in nutritious eats.
We eat things like those mentioned in #3, and additionally: turmeric, moringa, coconut oil, cod liver oil and countless other things.
-
Adding in more tea.
Ryan and I drink things like Traditional Medicinals detox teas, in particular, EveryDay Detox Dandelion and EveryDay Detox Lemon. My favorite? The EveryDay Detox Dandelion. This is absolutely the best tea I’ve had in the longest time, which rocks because I am drinking 2-3 cups daily while we wait. The blend contains organic dandelion herb with root, organic bitter fennel fruit, organic peppermint leaf, and organic licorice root. I drink it plain or add a splash of coconut milk to it. Side note: my mother-in-law visited us recently and I had her drinking several cups of the EveryDay Detox Lemon, which she not only loved, but it also helped her feel great by supporting her body’s natural detoxification process!
-
Adding in essential oils.
And finally, we use essential oils like On Guard, Lemongrass, Lemon, and Peppermint. You don’t need to believe in essential oils and/or anything else that I mention for “detox,” but for us, the proof is in the results.
-
Stay in the present.
It is so easy to look backward, then forward, sideways and then forward again. But all that causes is a dizzying effect, and so I am teaching myself to stay right here, in the now, for the present. And this is not just for me, but for Ryan and Samarah as well. We only have today, and today is perfect as is.
-
S/he/They are going to be here before we know it. When it’s time, I am confident that God will show us the way, and that He will equip us with exactly the things we need. He gives us what we can handle, and I know that in due time His plans will be made crystal clear for us.
Maybe you could help out while we wait with a little game? Are you up for the fun?! I have the same anticipation that any other mother has when she waits for her baby to arrive.
If I had a belly bump right now, and the due date was approaching, people would start making their predictions about the arrival date.
So what do you think? What will be the date when we get our call?! I really love that you share this journey with us!
And have I told you yet that I really love that you share this journey with us?!
Xox,
SKH
*This statement has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
You will heal. I will help.
I hope She/he/them arrive on Valentine’s Day! I know that’s a bit of a wait, but what a great way to start the next stage of your loving family.
Such a great day:) My birthday is also the 10th!
Wow! This is my first blog since I joined last night after class. It feels like coming home to myself! Even though I am quite a bit ahead of you in both age and older children, your words ring true to me. Thanks for your open heart and really bright mind – love the class too! can’t wait to hear about your new bundle of jjoy! Now I’m going to go pay some attention to my weakened adrenal gland.
Hi Jacqui! Thanks for stopping by. I’m glad you enjoyed the post, and are loving the class. Thanks again:) p.s. take care of those adrenals!