Without sounding too pious, today is Sunday, so let me explain.
{This post is part of my 101 Days of Blogging series, inspired by Experience Life magazine’s 101 Revolutionary Ways to Be Healthy, authored by Pilar Gerasimo.}
Day 39: Ask For What You Want
Being picky about what you put in your body is nothing to be ashamed of. If you want extra this, none of that, something on the side, X in place of Y, broiled instead of fried, and everything prepared just so — say so. Picky eaters unite!. Revolutionary Act #39, powered by Experience Life
But first, what does that word “pious” mean in this context?
of or relating to religious devotion; sacred rather than secular
During my podcast interview with Nia Shanks, she asked what got me through in those first few days after IVF failed us. I told her that it was two things, and I began with the first by saying, “Without sounding too pious….”
I continued on just very briefly about my faith.
I have thought a lot about those four words, “without sounding too pious” these past couple of months, and I have realized that I am always feeling the need to downplay my faith when the truth is that who I am would never say “without sounding too pious.”
I grew up in the Catholic and Lutheran church. My dad was Catholic, and my mom Lutheran. Even though my parent’s were married (still are married!), they went to separate churches (for the most part), and we were free to choose wherever we wanted to go. Both my brother and I went to Catholic Elementary School, we were baptized there, confirmed there and I was married there (JJ -> are you ever going to get married?!).
My grandparent’s passion for the church was infectious. My grandmother, Josephine, taught me about the rosary and had a set of morals (mostly about lying) that was unparalleled. My grandmother, Verna, is (she is still living) likely one of the kindest, most thoughtful women I ever knew growing up. She read her Bible daily, and throughout my life always sent cards, signing off, “God loves you. So do I.”
Faith and trusting in the Lord surrounded me my entire life. I can be nothing but thankful for that.
But if you want the real truth, while faith and trusting in the Lord surrounded me, I did not surround it. I believed because it was all I knew. I went to church because I had to. I said His name because I felt it was the right thing to do. And after high school, when I got out on my own, I rarely went to church (except when I was home and felt that I had to), and quite honestly I had no desires for remembering that part of my upbringing.
Ryan grew up Lutheran, and so once we met and moved to California (in March, 2007), we tried finding a church together. We had zero reasoning for it, except that I think it made us both feel like we would still have a piece of Minnesota and our upbringing with it. We didn’t find one, even though we tried a few. We even went to “marriage classes” at a Catholic Church while preparing for our Catholic wedding in Minnesota. But alas, it never stuck. And all along, I didn’t really even care.
I am not sure when it was, but I’m guessing it was around 2010 when we found Southwinds Church. We began attending casually, but within a short amount of time, found that missing a week was not an option. We had finally found the place where we belonged, and for the very first time in my life I began to know – truly know – the Lord.
Shortly after, we would have multiple failed attempts at conceiving, and during this time, I began my church book of sorts, where each week I’d bring the book along with me to church, and I’d take notes, write out thoughts, verses and have it available to me for reflection all week long. The book began to tell the stories of our life, the state of current emotions (many pages have tear drop stains) and my new commitment to the Lord.
I never told anyone much about my faith during those times because it felt like a private matter, and also because I began to feel this sense of judgment for those who “sounded too pious.”
Life happened, IVF failed, I was mad, frustrated and angry with God, and I asked Him the hard questions. Meanwhile, I never lost hope.
You know how that story ends, and if you’ve been following my blog (or know me in person) for any length of time, you know that my faith was (during that time) and is now, stronger than ever.
And yet…..I find myself always saying, “without sounding too pious.” I really hate it.
I get that there are many religious people who proclaim their faith and then do awful things. I get that organized religion leaves a bitter taste for so many. I get that “pious” Christians are saying and not doing and are clearly not doing Him any favors.
And like them, I am far from perfect, and because of this I tell everyone to judge Jesus Christ by what He says, what He teaches, what He preaches and how He loved – not by my (or any other Christian’s) every single waking moment move.
But I came to Jesus Christ all on my own. I professed this on April 3, 2015 during baptism because of faith not religion.
I do not judge, shame or speak ill-will of others who do not share my same faith and passion for the Lord, I am learning to pray for my enemies, and I wish only the best for all, even those who refer to people like me as “those Christians,” “Bible freaks” and more.
Deep down, I believe that for those reasons I have always felt the need to say “without sounding too pious.”
I learned early in life to always stand for something or I’d always fall for anything.
Never has this become truer in my life.
I stand for and beside The Bible. I stand for and beside my faith. I stand for and beside Jesus Christ because He changed my life and because I believe with all my heart that He is the only way.
By building my house on this rock and by standing for something in a world that is telling me I should conform to everything else, I feel confident that I can just be instead of prancing and dancing around someone I’m clearly not any longer saying things like, “without sounding too pious.”
Xox,
SKH
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You will heal. I will help.
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