Eight months ago I knew December would be a very hard month for me, for us. Until yesterday, I never knew it would be this hard.
The church was so beautiful yesterday. It was the first day of Advent. Five new eclectic trees were up; 3 green, 2 gold and all with jumbo stars on top (the antique stars my mother adores).
From the second I walked into the church, I was reminded of all the emotions last April brought. I stood there with my fully-caffeinated Starbucks coffee, skinny jeans and flat belly; all of which I wished last April to not have this month.
My heart was heavy as we sat down to hear the Pastor talk. Somehow, like God always does in my life, the message and the moments were exactly what I needed.
When You Feel Forgotten
In the time of Herod king of Judea there was a priest named Zechariah, who belonged to the priestly division of Abijah; his wife Elizabeth was also a descendant of Aaron. Both of them were upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commandments and regulations blamelessly. But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren; and they were both well along in their years. (Luke 1:5-)
Eight Months Ago
My heart was pounding; a piercing stab really. I cannot explain it fully.
There are so many things I am thinking still today about what our Pastor said; so many things I will likely think about all month.
The truth is that I don’t even know where to start or how to separate these thoughts.
I can feel something working deep within me. This is also something I could never explain; it is the reason why I give and give and give…..
As I walked out of the church, I stopped by the “Pregnancy Resource Center Angel Tree.” I grabbed not one or two or even three, but instead four, ornaments, each with a different item the resource center needs this Holiday Season.
Eight months ago I knew December would be a hard month for me, for us. In those few brief moments, all I could think about was gifting for a child already in this world; a child who needs the help, a child whose time it was to come into this world.
December 2012 was not supposed to be our time.
And all things, in their time, are beautiful.
You will heal. I will help.